


Fondue

by CatrinaSL



Series: Three Things [106]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Background Jane/Thor, Background Sam/Steve - Freeform, Bodyswap, Dancing, F/M, Fondue, Formalwear, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mistaken Identity, Multi, OT3, Polyamory, SHIP DARCY LEWIS WITH ALL THE THINGS, Suggestive Themes, Three Things, white tie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-27 12:19:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13880736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatrinaSL/pseuds/CatrinaSL
Summary: Charity dinners mean dressing up, dancing, and fancy food. But beware of the fondue.





	Fondue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tigrislilium](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigrislilium/gifts).



> tigrislilium prompted White tie, Dancing, Fondue.

Darcy loved formal charity dinners. Sure, there were a lot of boring people wandering around that her boys were required to schmooze with, but seeing them in their white ties and vests, jackets crisp and the tuxedo pants fitting just right, it was all worth it. Even the part where she had to spend half the day getting her hair done and squeezing herself into a backless dress.

She laughed; some joker had heard the thing about Steve and fondue and had ordered the caterers to make it part of the menu for the mingling portion of the evening. Thor had already spilled a generous amount on his previously spotless cummerbund, and Jane had whisked him away to clean it up. Darcy stood and watched Bucky and Pietro teasing Steve by feeding each other little bites of bread dipped in cheese, and Sam laughed and shook his head when Steve turned to try it with him.

Bucky stayed to watch the antics at the buffet, turning to speak to Wanda where she was standing with Vision. Pietro sauntered over to Darcy, employing some of Bucky's swagger, and reached for Darcy's hand, kissing it before asking, "May I have this dance?"

"Of course," Darcy replied, and Piet slid his arm around her waist, resting his hand on the small of her back as they made their way to the dance floor.

Once there, he swept Darcy into an old fashioned step that Bucky was fond of.

"Been studying up, have you?" Darcy asked, smiling when Pietro preened.

"Nah," he drawled. "This is pure talent, doll."

"That fondue any good?" Darcy wanted to know. "You two looked like you were enjoying it."

Pietro's eyes darkened. "We'd've liked it better if you'd been there," he said, tugging her a little closer.

"Maybe we can get the hotel to send some up," Darcy suggested.

Pietro didn't reply and instead kissed her cheek. It was a favorite move of Bucky's: close to her ear with plans to move lower. But they were in public, so she put a little space between them again.

She saw Bucky making his way across the dance floor to them, so she wasn't surprised when he tapped Pietro's shoulder and asked if he could cut in. Pietro kept his eyes on Darcy, kissing her hand before passing her over to his boyfriend. Bucky, too, only had eyes for her, not even sparing Pietro a glance as he pulled Darcy into his arms.

"You borrowed the jewels?" he asked, his gaze roaming her chest.

"From Pepper," Darcy replied, as Bucky whirled her, making it look flashier than necessary, which wasn't his style. "She bought me the shoes, too, but the dress is a loaner, so no ripping it off of me tonight."

"Have we _ever_?" Bucky asked, the picture of innocence.

"Only always," Darcy told him with a laugh.

"Well, we need to get to what's underneath, _krásná_ ," Bucky whispered in her ear.

Darcy frowned. "Since when do _you_ call me that?"

"Since when do I call you what?" he asked.

"Are you and Piet switching pet names, now?"

"Am I doing what?" Bucky said, confused.

"Are you—" Darcy began, then sighed, an amused smile on her face. "I get it. You guys are being cute."

"Always," Bucky replied, but still seemed unsure of what she was talking about.

"Grab me some champagne?" Darcy asked when the song wound down and Bucky led her off the dance floor.

"Of course," he said, and spotted a waiter nearby with a tray of flutes. "Here you go."

He didn't leave her side, so Darcy wasn't sure what he meant by 'here you go.'

Bucky frowned and looked down at his hand, apparently confused as to why there wasn't a glass of champagne in it.

"Darcy," Bucky said, his voice hushed. "Am I... who do I look like to you?"

Darcy looked him over. Sexy white tie, pants that showed off his ass, scruff but not too much scruff. "You look like my extremely desirable boyfriend. That rich lady thinks so, too." She gestured across the room at a lady who was watching Bucky like a hawk.

"Can you be a bit more specific?" he asked, looking up at her with worried eyes.

"What do you mean?" Darcy replied. Bucky held up his hand. His metal hand. "Bucky...?"

"Yes. Bucky," he said. "Except I'm Pietro.”

“You're..." Darcy began, raising an eyebrow. She still wasn't sure if they were trying to prank her or what kind of ridiculous game they had going on. "Buck, I'm not buying it."

Bucky opened his mouth, a frustrated frown on his face. But then he sighed and closed it. "Fine," he said. "Let's find me and we can prove it to you."

"Bucky..." Darcy laughed, but let him tug her off the dance floor. She spotted Piet over by the ballroom doors and headed for him.

He turned from a conversation with Steve and Sam when she and Bucky arrived, and his eyes went wide.

"What is this—?!" Pietro gasped, alarmed.

"Something with the fondue," Bucky said. "Must have been."

"What are you talking about?" Steve asked.

"Bucky, it’s okay," Bucky said immediately, then turned to Steve. "I’m Pietro; we must have swapped bodies somehow."

Pietro looked like he wanted to run for it, and it was the fear in his eyes that finally convinced Darcy.

"This isn't funny anymore," she told Bucky, as she went to comfort Pietro. "Look how upset he is!"

"We have to find out if it's happened to anyone else, Steve," Bucky said.

“This joke isn’t very funny,” Sam commented.

"I'm him. He's me," Bucky explained with a roll of his eyes. "Look." He pointed at Pietro's hands.

Pietro's eyes filled with understanding as he held his own left hand in front of his face.

"He's right, Punk," he told Steve, who seemed taken aback by Pietro's familiar tone.

Steve frowned. "What did you say to me just before you shipped out?" he asked.

Bucky shrugged and looked to Pietro.

"'Don't do anything stupid until I get back,'" Pietro quoted. "And you said, 'How can I?'"

"'You're taking all the stupid with you,'" Steve finished. "Jerk."

"Seriously?" Sam asked, looking from Pietro to Steve as Bucky sagged with relief. "This is actually happening?"

"The caterers," Pietro!Bucky said.

Steve nodded. "Think they might be Hydra?"

"Or that asshole Reed Richards playing a prank," Pietro!Bucky replied, and nodded at Bucky!Pietro. "Take her upstairs?"

Bucky!Pietro nodded and stepped over to slip his arm around Darcy's waist. The two of them watched Steve, Sam, and Pietro!Bucky head straight for the catering table.

"Let's go," Bucky!Pietro said. Darcy nodded and let him lead her out of the ballroom and up to the hotel room they had checked into earlier that evening.

"Sorry I didn't believe you," she said as soon as he shut the door behind him.

He shrugged. "It's a little far-fetched."

"Think it's too soon to text them for an update?"

"Probably, I mean, we just left the ballroom and took an elevator ride. What could they have found out in that amount of time?" He sat down on the bed and tugged at his bow tie. "Help me with this?"

Darcy stepped out of her shoes and shuffled over to untie the tie and pop the top button on the stiff collar. Then Bucky's hands were on her hips, and she smiled. "I should have known," she laughed.

"Can you blame me?" Bucky!Pietro asked. "You're beautiful no matter whose eyes I'm looking through, krásná."

"You two looked pretty good, too," Darcy said, leaning against him.

But his hands on her back couldn't distract her from a sudden realization. "Hey, that lady!" she exclaimed.

"What lady?"

"The one who was looking at you when we finished dancing," Darcy said. "I thought she was just checking you out, but what if she had something to do with it—with the body swapping?"

" _That's_ a reason to call them," Bucky!Pietro said, going into his breast pocket for his phone.

* * *

Darcy paced while Pietro was on the phone with Bucky.

She paced while Pietro used Bucky's face to stick his tongue out and grimace at himself in the mirror.

She paced until he pulled her into his arms.

"Calm down," he said. "It will be all right."

"How do you know?" she asked. "They’ve been investigating for _hours_ _._ What if you're stuck as Bucky forever?"

Bucky!Pietro shrugged. "At least it was me and him; I didn't switch bodies with Steve."

"Yeah, that would never have worked," Darcy said. "There's no way Bucky would ever kiss Steve."

The lock on the door clicked, then opened. Pietro's face appeared, smiling a smile that would have looked more at home on Bucky's face.

"Well?" Darcy asked.

"We got her," Pietro!Bucky reported. "Apparently she's a bored philanthropist who thought she'd try dabbling in supervillainy. Steve and Sam are still interrogating her, but you and I are supposed to fix things by staying close to each other."

"That shouldn't be a problem," Darcy said, holding out her hand for Pietro!Bucky to join their hug.

"What if that doesn't fix it?" Bucky!Pietro wanted to know.

Pietro!Bucky laughed into Darcy's hair. "It's not the worst thing in the world," he said. "At least I didn't swap bodies with your sister."

The horrified look on Bucky's face was so funny Darcy couldn't help but laugh.

"I'm surprised you two are still all decked out," Pietro!Bucky said, letting his fingers trail down Darcy's spine. "The first thing I did was lose my jacket."

"She wouldn't let me rip her dress off," Bucky!Pietro reported.

Bucky arranged Pietro's face into a look of mock surprise. "Have we _ever_?"

Darcy laughed. "Only always."

* * *

When Darcy woke the next morning, spooned between Bucky and Pietro, she wondered if things were back the way they were supposed to be.

Bucky was close to groping her in his sleep, but that was nothing new. Pietro was snoring softly, but he did that every morning. Darcy leaned away from Bucky and kissed Pietro's ear just the way he liked.

He smiled and rolled over onto his back, reaching over to brush her hair out of her face as he opened his eyes.

"Am I me?" he wanted to know.

"I'm not sure, which one are you?" Darcy asked.

Pietro's eyes went to Bucky's hand, where it was resting on Darcy's ribs. "I'm me," he told her, and celebrated with a kiss.

Bucky moaned when Darcy shifted against him. "Startin' without me?"

"We thought we'd let you sleep in," Pietro murmured against Darcy's neck.

"So you're both back to normal?" Darcy guessed.

"Seems that way," Bucky told her as he leaned closer to kiss Pietro.

"Hey," Darcy began before things got too interesting for conversation. "Did you guys ever find out if anyone else got swapped?"

"Didn't stop to find out," Bucky said.

"Maybe we should check in with Steve."

Pietro groaned when she got up, but Bucky was there to comfort him.

Darcy kept her eyes on her boys as she grabbed her phone; calling Steve would ensure that she wouldn't have to wait for a return text, but they were being a little loud...

"Shush," she told them. "Steve doesn't wanna hear your sex noises."

Then she turned her back on them and called Steve.

"They're really okay?" Steve asked, while Darcy kept her hand over the phone due to Bucky and Pietro's shenanigans.

"Yeah," Darcy said quickly. "Did we ever find out if anyone else got swapped?"

"I hadn't heard anything," Steve told her.

"Great, thanks, talk to you later," Darcy said, and hung up before Pietro's moans could get through to Steve's ears.

"You jerks!" Darcy hissed. "Were you _trying_ to give Steve nightmares?!"

"Nah," Bucky replied, pulling away from Pietro to grin at her. "Just tryin' to get you to hurry up and get back here."

Darcy rolled her eyes and turned to set her phone down, but as she did, she noticed a couple of missed texts from Jane.

Thor and I had a weird night

good, but weird.

remind me to tell you about it later.

**Author's Note:**

>  _Krásná_ means _beautiful_ in Czech.
> 
> [Prompt a Three Things fic!](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSf7S2MbkK0CxVHMG3kF8CD6fYqD0zwY-J6MqLb21nmFyRpE4w/viewform)
> 
> [Reblog on tumblr](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com/post/171562976953/fondue)
> 
> Tumblr: [catrinasl](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com)
> 
> Twitter: [@Catrina_SL](http://twitter.com/Catrina_SL)


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